What can make a good parent?
A good parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the best interest of the child.
What can make a great parent isn't only identified by the parent 's actions, but also their intention.
A great parent does not need to be ideal. No one is perfect. No kid is perfect either … keeping this in mind is important when we set the expectations of ours.
Profitable parenting is not about achieving perfection. Though it does not mean that we should not work towards that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then our children next. We serve as important role models for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
Here are 10 suggestions that will help you be a much better parent, learn good parenting skills, and stay away from bad parenting.
Some are not easy or quick.
And probably nobody can do them constantly.
Nevertheless, even in case you only do a component of these tips in this parenting guide, you'll be moving in the correct direction if you continue working on them.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell your child what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to imitate others' actions, comprehend them, and incorporate them in to our personal. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
Thus, be the person you want your child to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - as well as your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Show your love.
There's no such thing as loving the child of yours too much. Loving them can't spoil them.
Just what you decide to do (or give) in the title of love may - things as material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over protection. When these items are provided in place of love that is real, that is when you'll have a spoiled child.
To love your child may be as easy as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and listening to your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love is able to cause the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals are able to bring us a full feeling of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the child, will acquire resilience and not to point out a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive our actions, shape our personalities, and essentially determine who we are. They are "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They will then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and also provide them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the development type needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences create good neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems difficult to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior issues. But it is possible by using positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a good parent means you need to teach the child of yours the morals of what is right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent is the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be kind and firm whenever you establish rules and enforce them. Concentrate on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And make it a chance for them to find out for the future in a positive manner, instead of to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Tey letting your child know that you will remain there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to the needs of theirs. Support and accept the child of yours as an individual. Be a safe and warm place for the child of yours to explore from and go back to.
Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive have much better emotional regulation development, social skills development, and mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us know already the value of communication. Talk to the child of yours and also listen to them carefully. By keeping an open line of communication, you will have a much better relationship with the child of yours and your kid will come to you when there's a problem.
But there's another reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of the brain of theirs, a crucial process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to our body, in which different organs must coordinate and work in concert to have a trully healthy body. When various regions of the brain are incorporated, they are able to function harmoniously as an entire, which means fewer tantrums, more good behavior, more empathy, and better psychological well-being.
To accomplish that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and the way they felt developing attuned communication.
You don't need to offer solutions. You do not need to have all the answers to be a good parent. Simply paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple are going to help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
Many of us wish to parent differently from our parents. Even people who had a good upbringing and a thankful childhood may wish to change some elements of the way they were brought up.
But very frequently, when we open our mouths, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is a step towards understanding why we parent how we do. Make note of things you'd like to change and think of just how you would do it differently in a real scenario. Attempt to be mindful and change the behavior of yours the next time those issues come up.
Do not give up if you do not succeed at first. It takes practice, lots of practice to consciously change one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Focus on Your own WELL-BEING
Parents require relief too.
Pay attention to your own well being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as the own needs of yours or the overall health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. If you do not pay attention to them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Take time to enhance your relationship with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more prone to fighting. Don't hesitate to ask for parenting assistance. Having some "me time" for self care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take care of their child physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, too.
#8: Don't SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to result in short-term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed help for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The child is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to the child that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or hit is much more vulnerable to fighting along with other children. They're more likely to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later in life, they're also far more likely to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, even worse parent-child relationships, mental health issues, along with domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are a variety of more effective options to discipline that have been shown to be much more effective, such as good discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is the goal of yours in raising a child?
If you are like the majority of parents, you would like your child to excel in college, be productive, be responsible and independent, be respectful, enjoy good associations along with you and some, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like most parents, you most likely spend the majority of the time simply attempting getting through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole Brain kid, rather than helping your kid thrive, spent most of time simply trying to survive!
To not allow the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what anger and frustration can do for you or your child.
Rather, find ways to turn every bad experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be turned into priceless brain-sculpting moments if you focus on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging your child with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what is currently known by scientists.
To parent is among the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting techniques, practices, or traditions have been scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for increasing a kid and information which are supported by science, here's one of my favorite science-based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Making use of medical knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every child differs. Even within the very best parenting style, there can be a variety of good parenting practices you could choose according to your child's temperament.
A good example is using spanking to discipline. You will find many better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You can choose a non-punitive discipline method that actually works best for the child of yours.
Naturally, you are able to also decide to utilize "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also may still get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children https://parentinghowto.com/ with different temperaments react to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how tough their parents treat them. Though it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub-par parenting practices if you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice may not be the simplest way to parent. It may require more work on the part of yours in the short term but can help you save lots of time and agony in the long term.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it's also really rewarding. The bad part is the rewards usually come later than the effort. But in case we try our best now, we will eventually reap the rewards and have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!